Bonsoir everyone!
I'm really sorry for not blogging yesterday - I pretty much slept most of the day apart from when my good bro Si got here. To be honest I got up feeling a bit naff both in terms of how I felt physically but also emotionally. I was tired of getting up once again feeling out of balance and giddy - another day of it. I can deal with it in the short term but I just felt that yesterday was enough. There is nothing I can do about it apart from feel miserable. Thanks for pulling me half out of it Jeanette and thanks for doing the other half Si! I went to bed having had some Ben & Jerrys chocolate fudge Mmmmm. Good things they said to cheer me up started with it looking like my cheeks had gone down a bit and they thought that my hair had started growing back! Wicked! Only a little bit is starting to sprout and pretty much only on one side but there we go! Good news.
Today saw us go and pick up my good friend and colleage Tom, from Watford at rush hour. Lots of cars going somewhere but very slowly! It was great to hear first hand about New Generation and I'm really excited to get out and lend a hand. I won't be skiing for some time but even going to the office and drinking tea and eating biscuits with Matt will help!! I'm so excited.
I feel much better now. Si and Tom came and saw me - that really helped.
Love
Ali
Thursday 31 January 2008
Thursday Lunchtime
How much Blog could a Web Blog Blog if a web Blog could Blog Blog?
Thanks Carol - see you in France!
Sorry for not blogging guys, it's been a bit hectic at this end. I've got my good friend Tom over until this evening. When he goes I'll give you an update. I'm fine thanks - no drama this end.
Love
Ali
Thanks Carol - see you in France!
Sorry for not blogging guys, it's been a bit hectic at this end. I've got my good friend Tom over until this evening. When he goes I'll give you an update. I'm fine thanks - no drama this end.
Love
Ali
Tuesday 29 January 2008
Tuesday Morning
Bonjour Everyone!
We're back at the bungalow in Welwyn now and ready to do nothing today. Well, actually there are a few things to do like insurance and paperwork but you don't need to know about that!
We had a super weekend at Lower Farm and yesterday were going to do something after Jeanette had finished work but I was sleeping for England! I got up, had breakker then went to bed and slept until 4pm! I could hardly get up the stairs again. That is actually quite scary. I had Jeanette pushing my bum and me on all fours. scrambling up the stairs. Good job we've come back to the Bungalow! It's a weird sort of tiredness. My legs just start to collapse and I sort of come in and out of conciseness - scary! I need to be prepared for it and generally I am. I wasn't in the cinema with Si and J whilst watching the Golden Compass. I snored so loudly that I woke myself up! They had to carry me out at the end!
Then we went for a curry in St Albans with mum and dad last night which, as always, was awesome. Thanks for dinner dad.
So, actually there is quite a lot to organise before leaving so we'll get through this paperwork.
As you can probably guess, feeling okay this morning. It's grim outside but hey, that happens here. I guess it's what's inside that makes you feel good. Less than 2 weeks and counting!
Love
Ali
We're back at the bungalow in Welwyn now and ready to do nothing today. Well, actually there are a few things to do like insurance and paperwork but you don't need to know about that!
We had a super weekend at Lower Farm and yesterday were going to do something after Jeanette had finished work but I was sleeping for England! I got up, had breakker then went to bed and slept until 4pm! I could hardly get up the stairs again. That is actually quite scary. I had Jeanette pushing my bum and me on all fours. scrambling up the stairs. Good job we've come back to the Bungalow! It's a weird sort of tiredness. My legs just start to collapse and I sort of come in and out of conciseness - scary! I need to be prepared for it and generally I am. I wasn't in the cinema with Si and J whilst watching the Golden Compass. I snored so loudly that I woke myself up! They had to carry me out at the end!
Then we went for a curry in St Albans with mum and dad last night which, as always, was awesome. Thanks for dinner dad.
So, actually there is quite a lot to organise before leaving so we'll get through this paperwork.
As you can probably guess, feeling okay this morning. It's grim outside but hey, that happens here. I guess it's what's inside that makes you feel good. Less than 2 weeks and counting!
Love
Ali
Monday 28 January 2008
Bonjour everyone!
Monday morning and it's grim weather outside. Not to worry, we're feeling much better after the weekend. Thank you for your comments and support (we read them all the time and they make SUCH a difference to how we feel). Okay, so I/we were a bit down. But all is okay now. We're just going to crack on with things, plan ahead for the good things, take on the bad and enjoy as much as we can.
Phil and I have planned our trip back to France for two weeks today. I'm so excited I can hardly wait. Strict rest at the other end is required. No skiing. :-)
How do I feel physically right now? I'm okay apart from my vision. It's just that I'm a bit out of balance still. When that stops I'll be soooo happy. Everything else is fine, I just need to and will do loose that big tummy of mine.
Down to 8 milligrams on the steroids today....yippee! By the way, today is our day of not talking about it. So, if you call me or have the good fortune to bump into me, then not a word ha ha!
Yesterday was awesome. Let me quickly talk you through it. Cooked breakfast, walk with Dino in the woods, soup for lunch, snooze in the avo, went to see Abbie, Claire and Ruth at the Bright Star in Peters Green (which was brilliant and so good to to catch up on the news), snooze again then roast beef and yorkshire pudding then another snooze in fron of Ski Sunday. How could it get much better?!
I', still not with my laptop with the photos but promise to post some more asap!
Love
Ali
Monday morning and it's grim weather outside. Not to worry, we're feeling much better after the weekend. Thank you for your comments and support (we read them all the time and they make SUCH a difference to how we feel). Okay, so I/we were a bit down. But all is okay now. We're just going to crack on with things, plan ahead for the good things, take on the bad and enjoy as much as we can.
Phil and I have planned our trip back to France for two weeks today. I'm so excited I can hardly wait. Strict rest at the other end is required. No skiing. :-)
How do I feel physically right now? I'm okay apart from my vision. It's just that I'm a bit out of balance still. When that stops I'll be soooo happy. Everything else is fine, I just need to and will do loose that big tummy of mine.
Down to 8 milligrams on the steroids today....yippee! By the way, today is our day of not talking about it. So, if you call me or have the good fortune to bump into me, then not a word ha ha!
Yesterday was awesome. Let me quickly talk you through it. Cooked breakfast, walk with Dino in the woods, soup for lunch, snooze in the avo, went to see Abbie, Claire and Ruth at the Bright Star in Peters Green (which was brilliant and so good to to catch up on the news), snooze again then roast beef and yorkshire pudding then another snooze in fron of Ski Sunday. How could it get much better?!
I', still not with my laptop with the photos but promise to post some more asap!
Love
Ali
Saturday 26 January 2008
Bonsoir everyone!
Well, today was much better thanks. We had a good talk about things and decided to try and just go ahead with open minds. It's tough because we don't know what the future holds. I know that none of us do but we know that my future is certain. It's tough for Jeanette and me. We're not sure about a number of things. Please don't think that we're sad, we'll work though things and come out the other end one way or another. I think that we have a sort of holiday for the next 8 weeks because we simply can't do anything - I just have to get better and quick!
On Monday we're having a day when we are not speaking about my illness at all. That should be good actually because I'm a bit tired of it and I'm sure everyone is. Arsenal are through in the F.A. Cup so there's a start for the conversation. Ha ha.
Linz, Al, Phoebe and Rufus came round for tea this morning and brought some yummy chocolate cake. It was good to see Linz especially because of the lovely comments that she posted on the blog - it was nice to see her and thank her for the kind words. Thanks once again Linz.
Then we went to see Jumbo playing rugby for London Scottish against Old Albanians at St St Albans. What a great game and Jumbo - I hope your date tonight goes well ha ha. There is a photo of Jumbo and me but I'm not on my home computer tonight so no photos updated I'm afraid. I'll do it tomorrow.
Then off to Lower Farm for sleep/dinner/Sleep again.
I feel that it's now that we need a bit of direction before we can get on the straight and narrow. We'll find a way. I went to the Brain Tumour UK website last night and read about Grade 2 Glimoas. The chap that it was about had a Grade 2 but had unfortunately dies since. Damn! It doesn't help when you read that. Thanks though for being so positive Jet and sorry for being down. Better days are around the corner.
It was tough at the Rugby being amongst people who could do things I couldn't like run and catch (well, some of them could). I just want to be me again.......I hope so much.
Love
Ali
Friday 25 January 2008
Friday Evening
Bonsoir everyone!
Well, it did come back and get us! I'm tired so we didn't do much today. Still, it's nice to do nothing much! Nearly a 3 hour sleep this afternoon. Talk about Think Shrink - the skin around my torso has started to go like orange peel of which I have reliably been informed is cellulite. Big tummy, neck and cheeks! Think shrink please:-) I know it's only a small thing but it's on my mind!
Steroids - wow. I know they are doing me no end of good but I'm getting tired of the taste in my mouth, the dry mouth at night, the water retention, my face etc. I've got to be super careful about coming off them (2 milligrams per week) otherwise I could be in the slammer again and I don't want to do that before we head back to France!
Insurance. I've been using the British Mountaineering Council Insurance for years and they have been super. I was told yesterday (after a long call) that I can be insured as per normal for everything not to do with my brain tumor. There's a risk! We're going to wait until I'm absolutely ready to go back to France otherwise we don't want any shennanigans at any stage.
Well, Linz and her gang are coming tomorrow so that should be great! We've also been invited to a London Scottish match to watch my good friend Jumbo flounder in the mud....I hope. ha ha
Bit down on the whole - It's getting to me. I guess I want to get better not only quickly but just get better. The radiotherapy, I've been told, will continue to work for 6 - 10 days and act like a normal day of treatment. It's a real hassle standing up but once I'm there it's all systems go!
I've never been a writer and I'm sorry if this doesn't wind like a story. I feel like I have to write what I feel and pop it down. Some days are great, some not. Stay with me and Jeanette, your company is appreciated sometime more than you can believe.
The Grand Essentials for Happiness are:
Something to do
something to love
and something to hope for....
Love
Ali
Well, it did come back and get us! I'm tired so we didn't do much today. Still, it's nice to do nothing much! Nearly a 3 hour sleep this afternoon. Talk about Think Shrink - the skin around my torso has started to go like orange peel of which I have reliably been informed is cellulite. Big tummy, neck and cheeks! Think shrink please:-) I know it's only a small thing but it's on my mind!
Steroids - wow. I know they are doing me no end of good but I'm getting tired of the taste in my mouth, the dry mouth at night, the water retention, my face etc. I've got to be super careful about coming off them (2 milligrams per week) otherwise I could be in the slammer again and I don't want to do that before we head back to France!
Insurance. I've been using the British Mountaineering Council Insurance for years and they have been super. I was told yesterday (after a long call) that I can be insured as per normal for everything not to do with my brain tumor. There's a risk! We're going to wait until I'm absolutely ready to go back to France otherwise we don't want any shennanigans at any stage.
Well, Linz and her gang are coming tomorrow so that should be great! We've also been invited to a London Scottish match to watch my good friend Jumbo flounder in the mud....I hope. ha ha
Bit down on the whole - It's getting to me. I guess I want to get better not only quickly but just get better. The radiotherapy, I've been told, will continue to work for 6 - 10 days and act like a normal day of treatment. It's a real hassle standing up but once I'm there it's all systems go!
I've never been a writer and I'm sorry if this doesn't wind like a story. I feel like I have to write what I feel and pop it down. Some days are great, some not. Stay with me and Jeanette, your company is appreciated sometime more than you can believe.
The Grand Essentials for Happiness are:
Something to do
something to love
and something to hope for....
Love
Ali
Thursday 24 January 2008
Bonjour everyone!
We're so excited! I feel fine today and not too tired. I think it's a mental thing as well because I've made a conscious effort today to get up and do things. I've made the tea a couple of times and I made dinner. It's nearly 5pm and I've not been for a sleep yet. Don't worry anyone, the moment I feel tired I have no choice - bed. It's weird, my body just sort of gives in and Says 'Whoa down there Ali Bedtime!'
We've got this far and I feel that with everyone collective help we've overcome the radiotherapy and pretty much beaten it. I'm probably speaking too soon as it will come back and whack me when it wants. I suppose it was always there to help me but oh my, it takes it out of you!
Jeanette and I are now coming to terms with the future. We went for a lovely walk today and talked things through. It was tough actually because we're no nearer to knowing about our future. I know that no-one knows what the future holds but at least everyone else has it roughly planned out. I'm not complaining, I'm just saying that we need a bit of time and a lot more walks to fathom this one. I don't know where I'll be in the next few years which obviously affects Jeanette, Cor, now that's a tough one. We'll battle through but in fact today was harder than we thought it was going to be.
Never mind, we'll fight the good fight.
Love
Ali
We're so excited! I feel fine today and not too tired. I think it's a mental thing as well because I've made a conscious effort today to get up and do things. I've made the tea a couple of times and I made dinner. It's nearly 5pm and I've not been for a sleep yet. Don't worry anyone, the moment I feel tired I have no choice - bed. It's weird, my body just sort of gives in and Says 'Whoa down there Ali Bedtime!'
We've got this far and I feel that with everyone collective help we've overcome the radiotherapy and pretty much beaten it. I'm probably speaking too soon as it will come back and whack me when it wants. I suppose it was always there to help me but oh my, it takes it out of you!
Jeanette and I are now coming to terms with the future. We went for a lovely walk today and talked things through. It was tough actually because we're no nearer to knowing about our future. I know that no-one knows what the future holds but at least everyone else has it roughly planned out. I'm not complaining, I'm just saying that we need a bit of time and a lot more walks to fathom this one. I don't know where I'll be in the next few years which obviously affects Jeanette, Cor, now that's a tough one. We'll battle through but in fact today was harder than we thought it was going to be.
Never mind, we'll fight the good fight.
Love
Ali
Wednesday 23 January 2008
Wednesday Evening
Bonjour eveyone.
Well that's it! I feel like it's the last day of summer term! The sun didn't shine today but it certainly did in our little bit of the world. Oh how! I walked out of the hospital and wondered what I could do tomorrow - all those things. Awesome. Massive thanks to Alison who really did look after me over the last 7 weeks. Thank you and good luck Alison.
You wouldn't believe that how many times, in the last couple of years, when we were walking in the alpine meadows high above Annecy or cycling around the lake on a hot summers day, that we looked at each other and said how lucky we were. So many times. Only today did we have a little cry and wish it wasn't me. After all this. We're strong and will continue to fight, with your help, to make sure this goes completely.
When I was first diagnosed I sat down on my own for a bit and had a think about it. I did just accept that I had to get on with it. To be honest there is not a lot else to do. One thing was clear in my mind and that was that some good thing would come to us all as a result of my being ill. It did. I'm bowled over. Thank you all for your support.
So what now?
We carry on until it's gone.
See you tomorrow? I hope so.
Love
Ali
Well that's it! I feel like it's the last day of summer term! The sun didn't shine today but it certainly did in our little bit of the world. Oh how! I walked out of the hospital and wondered what I could do tomorrow - all those things. Awesome. Massive thanks to Alison who really did look after me over the last 7 weeks. Thank you and good luck Alison.
You wouldn't believe that how many times, in the last couple of years, when we were walking in the alpine meadows high above Annecy or cycling around the lake on a hot summers day, that we looked at each other and said how lucky we were. So many times. Only today did we have a little cry and wish it wasn't me. After all this. We're strong and will continue to fight, with your help, to make sure this goes completely.
When I was first diagnosed I sat down on my own for a bit and had a think about it. I did just accept that I had to get on with it. To be honest there is not a lot else to do. One thing was clear in my mind and that was that some good thing would come to us all as a result of my being ill. It did. I'm bowled over. Thank you all for your support.
So what now?
We carry on until it's gone.
See you tomorrow? I hope so.
Love
Ali
Tuesday 22 January 2008
Tuesday Morning
Bonjour everyone!
Linz thank you so much for writing those lovely words. It's almost true to believe but also saved me from writing yesterday so double thanks.
Sorry about last night, I was exhausted. That's what's I'm going to call it now. Tired doesn't seem to merit how I feel at the moment because I could hardly get up the stairs. I slept from 8pm until 8am, still the dry mouth but less sweating. Can't make head nor tail of that but I'm coming down on the steroids so it might make a difference. I'm now on 10 milligrammes of Dexamethasone and no headache which is awesome. This means that we're still going for 10th March off them. then fitness kicks in and no double chin, hamster cheeks, tummy etc. I guess that you gather it means a lot to me?!
I had a thought at the hospital yesterday. I looked around and yes, I'm the youngest by far in the waiting room but I imagined children waiting there and going for treatment (they go to a different hospital) and I think I prefer it the way it is. For the oldies I guess I have done my best to cheer some of them up. I'm going to miss them.
2 treatments to go and to be honest my mask wouldn't last another week because my face is so chubby! It's really tight now, almost too tight. If I was having a few weeks more of treatment I would have to have a new one!
My good friends from BASI (British Association of SnowSports Instructors) came over to Costa to say hello. Sean, Dave, PK and Roz. Thanks for coming it was lovely to see you (particularly in better form than last time Sean!) Thanks.
So, two treatments to go. Thank you so much for the support in counting down. It hasn't been hard, it really has not been a problem. Yes, I've lost a bit of hair, my skin is a bit sore and red, I'm full of radiation, tired, exhausted even, I'm tired of the Finchley Road, the A1, the queue at Costa Coffee in the hospital but at the end of the day MASSIVE thanks go to everyone that has been taking me up and supporting me. They are the ones that had to REALLY put up with the traffic. I just slept!
Mum and Dad, Phillip, Julia, Fat Nick, Paul, Lucinda, Si and of course Jeanette. I always think it's dangerous putting up names because with my brain, in the state it is, will probably have forgotten some key people! If I have I'm sorry and I hope you'll forgive me. Tomorrow It's just me and Jet and then off we go
So, what next? Well, today we see Dr Wilson and with some luck she will give us some dates in the next 2 months to come back and check out that THINK SHRINK has been working. I hope to be able to go to France as soon as I'm ready to recover. Don't worry, the blog will be here everyday for the forseeable future - I'm going to blog piccies of my escape home and the reduction of my hampster cheeks. Stay with me won't you? I still need you to THINK SRINK for the next 2 months!
2 to go.
Love
Ali
Linz thank you so much for writing those lovely words. It's almost true to believe but also saved me from writing yesterday so double thanks.
Sorry about last night, I was exhausted. That's what's I'm going to call it now. Tired doesn't seem to merit how I feel at the moment because I could hardly get up the stairs. I slept from 8pm until 8am, still the dry mouth but less sweating. Can't make head nor tail of that but I'm coming down on the steroids so it might make a difference. I'm now on 10 milligrammes of Dexamethasone and no headache which is awesome. This means that we're still going for 10th March off them. then fitness kicks in and no double chin, hamster cheeks, tummy etc. I guess that you gather it means a lot to me?!
I had a thought at the hospital yesterday. I looked around and yes, I'm the youngest by far in the waiting room but I imagined children waiting there and going for treatment (they go to a different hospital) and I think I prefer it the way it is. For the oldies I guess I have done my best to cheer some of them up. I'm going to miss them.
2 treatments to go and to be honest my mask wouldn't last another week because my face is so chubby! It's really tight now, almost too tight. If I was having a few weeks more of treatment I would have to have a new one!
My good friends from BASI (British Association of SnowSports Instructors) came over to Costa to say hello. Sean, Dave, PK and Roz. Thanks for coming it was lovely to see you (particularly in better form than last time Sean!) Thanks.
So, two treatments to go. Thank you so much for the support in counting down. It hasn't been hard, it really has not been a problem. Yes, I've lost a bit of hair, my skin is a bit sore and red, I'm full of radiation, tired, exhausted even, I'm tired of the Finchley Road, the A1, the queue at Costa Coffee in the hospital but at the end of the day MASSIVE thanks go to everyone that has been taking me up and supporting me. They are the ones that had to REALLY put up with the traffic. I just slept!
Mum and Dad, Phillip, Julia, Fat Nick, Paul, Lucinda, Si and of course Jeanette. I always think it's dangerous putting up names because with my brain, in the state it is, will probably have forgotten some key people! If I have I'm sorry and I hope you'll forgive me. Tomorrow It's just me and Jet and then off we go
So, what next? Well, today we see Dr Wilson and with some luck she will give us some dates in the next 2 months to come back and check out that THINK SHRINK has been working. I hope to be able to go to France as soon as I'm ready to recover. Don't worry, the blog will be here everyday for the forseeable future - I'm going to blog piccies of my escape home and the reduction of my hampster cheeks. Stay with me won't you? I still need you to THINK SRINK for the next 2 months!
2 to go.
Love
Ali
Monday 21 January 2008
Monday Evening - 2 to go
Hi,
Ali is again very tired today so has asked me post this great note from Linz which was left today.
The start of the next chapter
The man knows he is coming to the end of this stage, the road tunnel is getting lighter and he can see the daylight at the tunnel exit. He was so excited, but now he feels nervous and he slows his bike down, gets off and starts to walk. He stops for a moment and looks back up the tunnel, the darkness is familiar now, he has seen and heard things that were beyond his wildest imagining but they have become common place. The sunlit world beyond is not so easy to reenter….
As he gets to the mouth of the tunnel the sun feels warm on his face and the road is solid beneath his feet. He squints his eyes, but they adjust quickly to the light, so he sets one foot in front of the other and walks along the road. He is joined by friends, someone takes his bike, another takes his hand. They walk along together, slowly at first, enjoying the sun and the fresh air.
When he turns to look back the tunnel is far behind him, he didn’t realise he had come such a long way. He picks up the pace, and listens to the everyday conversations that flow around him. He has rejoined his old life without even noticing. An old friend who he hasn’t seen for a while calls out to him ‘Hey Ali, I haven’t seen you around, how are you doing?’ The man smiles, there is no need to tell his friend of the darkness he has left behind, so he simply says ‘I’m ok, I really am ok, let’s get together soon.’ And he walks on….
Thanks Linz, I think you'll give J.K.R a run for her money!!!!
From all those close to Ali, both family and friends, we would like to thank everyone for their continued support for Ali over the last few months. As you all know it's been a roller coaster of a journey thus far, but it's been made infinitely easier through the love and support we have all received. We thank you from the bottom of our hearts.
Live Strong
Si
Ali is again very tired today so has asked me post this great note from Linz which was left today.
The start of the next chapter
The man knows he is coming to the end of this stage, the road tunnel is getting lighter and he can see the daylight at the tunnel exit. He was so excited, but now he feels nervous and he slows his bike down, gets off and starts to walk. He stops for a moment and looks back up the tunnel, the darkness is familiar now, he has seen and heard things that were beyond his wildest imagining but they have become common place. The sunlit world beyond is not so easy to reenter….
As he gets to the mouth of the tunnel the sun feels warm on his face and the road is solid beneath his feet. He squints his eyes, but they adjust quickly to the light, so he sets one foot in front of the other and walks along the road. He is joined by friends, someone takes his bike, another takes his hand. They walk along together, slowly at first, enjoying the sun and the fresh air.
When he turns to look back the tunnel is far behind him, he didn’t realise he had come such a long way. He picks up the pace, and listens to the everyday conversations that flow around him. He has rejoined his old life without even noticing. An old friend who he hasn’t seen for a while calls out to him ‘Hey Ali, I haven’t seen you around, how are you doing?’ The man smiles, there is no need to tell his friend of the darkness he has left behind, so he simply says ‘I’m ok, I really am ok, let’s get together soon.’ And he walks on….
Thanks Linz, I think you'll give J.K.R a run for her money!!!!
From all those close to Ali, both family and friends, we would like to thank everyone for their continued support for Ali over the last few months. As you all know it's been a roller coaster of a journey thus far, but it's been made infinitely easier through the love and support we have all received. We thank you from the bottom of our hearts.
Live Strong
Si
Sunday 20 January 2008
Sunday Evening
Bonsoir tout le monde!
I just had to get on the blog because today was great and I wanted you to know about it. It's 8pm and I'm in bed absolutely exhausted. I was up at 4am doing bits and bobs and I felt fine - my eyes were not scwiffy and I wondered if it might be okay for the day. Si came and picked me up and took me over to the bungalow to have breakkie with Jo and the boys. I did but fell asleep on the sofa for an hour. Back over to mum and dads to meet Franny and Rachel who came down from Hinckly to meet me. I felt the best I felt since before everything.
I'm so excited that little things are happening slowly, so slowly that I am returning to me. I hope.
Rachel, Fran and I went out for lunch and started planning about New Generations 10th birthday surf trip to Croyde Bay on 11/12/13th Sept this year. Wanna come? I'm so excited that we're talking about it. Lunch was awesome and Phil and Diana came and joined us and we were all on top form. I felt so much better.
Exhaustion or some kind of massive tiredness hit me then (it's okay we had already sorted out the bill, I can't use it as an excuse yet but watch out....I might!) Had to br driven home from he Bull in Wheathampstead. I could hardly get up the stairs! Slept like a baby until 8pm. I still can't get out of bed but I will because mum and dad have recorded Ski Sunday YIPPEE!!!!!
Love
Ali
I just had to get on the blog because today was great and I wanted you to know about it. It's 8pm and I'm in bed absolutely exhausted. I was up at 4am doing bits and bobs and I felt fine - my eyes were not scwiffy and I wondered if it might be okay for the day. Si came and picked me up and took me over to the bungalow to have breakkie with Jo and the boys. I did but fell asleep on the sofa for an hour. Back over to mum and dads to meet Franny and Rachel who came down from Hinckly to meet me. I felt the best I felt since before everything.
I'm so excited that little things are happening slowly, so slowly that I am returning to me. I hope.
Rachel, Fran and I went out for lunch and started planning about New Generations 10th birthday surf trip to Croyde Bay on 11/12/13th Sept this year. Wanna come? I'm so excited that we're talking about it. Lunch was awesome and Phil and Diana came and joined us and we were all on top form. I felt so much better.
Exhaustion or some kind of massive tiredness hit me then (it's okay we had already sorted out the bill, I can't use it as an excuse yet but watch out....I might!) Had to br driven home from he Bull in Wheathampstead. I could hardly get up the stairs! Slept like a baby until 8pm. I still can't get out of bed but I will because mum and dad have recorded Ski Sunday YIPPEE!!!!!
Love
Ali
Sunday Morning
Bonjour everyone!
Wow, in fact yesterday was awesome! My eyes didn't go scwiffy for some reason, I'm just a bit dizzy and giddy and out of balance. Other than that I'm cool. I do feel like an invalid at the moment and yesterday was the first time I was in a big crowd so it made things worse a bit but I didn't care because.....
My good friend John (who is the Academy manager at Fulham Football Club) was kind enough to get tickets for Nick, Chris and myself for the Arsenal match. Awesome! What a great day - thank you so much John. Those meat pies were lovely a well. Thanks for driving Chris and good to see you Nick!
Sometimes I don't know what to write. Like now. Writing is good for me, it just kind of lets me get things off my chest, it let's you know what is going on and hopefully we're all happy and informed.
Apparently it's quite common to get a little bit depressed after treatment ends. Mmmmm. Not sure about that one but to be honest the girls at the hospital have been spot with what is happening on so I'm not discounting anything now. I'm going to be really happy though!
I'm feeling tired but good!
Love
Ali
Wow, in fact yesterday was awesome! My eyes didn't go scwiffy for some reason, I'm just a bit dizzy and giddy and out of balance. Other than that I'm cool. I do feel like an invalid at the moment and yesterday was the first time I was in a big crowd so it made things worse a bit but I didn't care because.....
My good friend John (who is the Academy manager at Fulham Football Club) was kind enough to get tickets for Nick, Chris and myself for the Arsenal match. Awesome! What a great day - thank you so much John. Those meat pies were lovely a well. Thanks for driving Chris and good to see you Nick!
Sometimes I don't know what to write. Like now. Writing is good for me, it just kind of lets me get things off my chest, it let's you know what is going on and hopefully we're all happy and informed.
Apparently it's quite common to get a little bit depressed after treatment ends. Mmmmm. Not sure about that one but to be honest the girls at the hospital have been spot with what is happening on so I'm not discounting anything now. I'm going to be really happy though!
I'm feeling tired but good!
Love
Ali
Saturday 19 January 2008
Saturday Morning - Good Luck Agnes!
Bonjour everyone!
I thoughts I'd get up early before my eyes go a bit scwiffy and do the blog because it is 'Scwiffy Saturday'
Yesterday was great. It was my dad's 65th birthday! Cor, well done dad. Lucinda picked me up and zoomed us up to the Royal Free coffee shop for hot chocolate with Si. Waited nearly an hour because......'machine are running late again' It didn't matter because 4 treatments quickly became 3 and we were out of there. Bit sad in a way because a lovely old lady called Agnes left today and that was her last treatment. She wears a wig in a brilliant style - looks really great. She said goodbye and goodluck and we wished her the same. She walked out of our lives. I wish her luck. In the waiting room there is a group of about 15 people who I see every day. We have started to bond and you say hello or just smile. We are a group of people who know what each other is going through. It's quite comforting in a way. I can't wait to say goodbye and goodluck to them on Wednesday next week. Very exciting.
Thanks for the packed lunch Julia and Lucinda. It nearly takes me the whole trip home to eat it but by golly it's great. Marmite and cucumber sandwhiches mmmmmmm. TURKISH DELIGHT AGAIN! MMMMMMMM
Home and bed. Jo, Si and the boys came round for a bithday tea party for dad. Charlie is adept at blowing our candles but Archie is learning and more dribble comes out than air. I got a clean piece ha ha.
Big day today. Family coming round in the morning then we're going to try and see the Fulham/Arsenal match with Nick, Chris and my friend John. Can't wait.
Love
Ali
ps. You might notice that there are no more recent photos of me. I've got hampster cheeks, a big tummy, red, bald head and I'm sure there is other stuff. Jeanette still loves me. Whew. Old piccies will have to do ok?
I thoughts I'd get up early before my eyes go a bit scwiffy and do the blog because it is 'Scwiffy Saturday'
Yesterday was great. It was my dad's 65th birthday! Cor, well done dad. Lucinda picked me up and zoomed us up to the Royal Free coffee shop for hot chocolate with Si. Waited nearly an hour because......'machine are running late again' It didn't matter because 4 treatments quickly became 3 and we were out of there. Bit sad in a way because a lovely old lady called Agnes left today and that was her last treatment. She wears a wig in a brilliant style - looks really great. She said goodbye and goodluck and we wished her the same. She walked out of our lives. I wish her luck. In the waiting room there is a group of about 15 people who I see every day. We have started to bond and you say hello or just smile. We are a group of people who know what each other is going through. It's quite comforting in a way. I can't wait to say goodbye and goodluck to them on Wednesday next week. Very exciting.
Thanks for the packed lunch Julia and Lucinda. It nearly takes me the whole trip home to eat it but by golly it's great. Marmite and cucumber sandwhiches mmmmmmm. TURKISH DELIGHT AGAIN! MMMMMMMM
Home and bed. Jo, Si and the boys came round for a bithday tea party for dad. Charlie is adept at blowing our candles but Archie is learning and more dribble comes out than air. I got a clean piece ha ha.
Big day today. Family coming round in the morning then we're going to try and see the Fulham/Arsenal match with Nick, Chris and my friend John. Can't wait.
Love
Ali
ps. You might notice that there are no more recent photos of me. I've got hampster cheeks, a big tummy, red, bald head and I'm sure there is other stuff. Jeanette still loves me. Whew. Old piccies will have to do ok?
Friday 18 January 2008
Friday Morning
Bonjour everyone!
4 days of radiotherapy to go! Yippee. I'm planning the 'Great Escape' with Phil as I write. I just can't wait to get home. Don't worry, if you're ever bored then no probs because I aim to keep the blog going for sometime with some recent photos and so on. I hope it goes like this....
Finish radiotherapy next Wednesday. Rest for a couple of weeks and see how we go. When I feel better then head back to France for some more rest. I'm under strict orders not to do anything and believe me, I can't or won't. After 8 weeks I need to go and have a scan and meeting with Dr Wilson and the gang. That's when we find out that everything is going to be fine. If not we fight the next fight....together? I hope so. I've taken so much positiveness and happiness from the blog that it's kept me going in a great way. I'm glad that you're on the journey with me. Makes me feel much better knowing that my friends and family are with me. Thank you.
Thanks for the lift up Dad (sorry for eating all the jelly babies) and sorry I nearly missed you in the hospital Phil, but great to see you.
Now, I have been trying visualisation on the BuzzyMachine and mostly it's been going well until I pictured Dicky and Nick sitting on the big guns pounding away at Mr Tumor. I don't know if laughing is good but I can't concentrate on that one anymore!
I need a bit of help from all of you for my last 4 zappings. Sorry it's a bit late but I've been doing fine for visualisation until now.
My favourite is Rachel's - imagine the old Space Invaders game in a circle around Mr T, pounding away, shooting, making him smaller.
My last one will be everyone of you holding hands in a ring and running in together jumping on the nasty thing. That should do it.
Physically? I'm okay but my eyes are a bit scwiffy...again. I thought that was the tiredness but it seems to hang in there regardless. I'm struggling typing (my lovely assistant, Jeanette will correct for me... :-) but hopefully that will sort itself out. I just want to be back to normal. Thats it. It's been a few months now but I just want to be bacl to normal. I do want to ski, cycle, and run. When I do you'll all know about it....photos, blog, the lot. Never fear!
Alison, my lovely assistant/nurse got engagd on Monday so you have to join me in congratulating her and Dave...awesome! Thanks for not sticking in the needle too hard yesterday and we'll take a wager on my cholesterol?
Love
Ali
4 days of radiotherapy to go! Yippee. I'm planning the 'Great Escape' with Phil as I write. I just can't wait to get home. Don't worry, if you're ever bored then no probs because I aim to keep the blog going for sometime with some recent photos and so on. I hope it goes like this....
Finish radiotherapy next Wednesday. Rest for a couple of weeks and see how we go. When I feel better then head back to France for some more rest. I'm under strict orders not to do anything and believe me, I can't or won't. After 8 weeks I need to go and have a scan and meeting with Dr Wilson and the gang. That's when we find out that everything is going to be fine. If not we fight the next fight....together? I hope so. I've taken so much positiveness and happiness from the blog that it's kept me going in a great way. I'm glad that you're on the journey with me. Makes me feel much better knowing that my friends and family are with me. Thank you.
Thanks for the lift up Dad (sorry for eating all the jelly babies) and sorry I nearly missed you in the hospital Phil, but great to see you.
Now, I have been trying visualisation on the BuzzyMachine and mostly it's been going well until I pictured Dicky and Nick sitting on the big guns pounding away at Mr Tumor. I don't know if laughing is good but I can't concentrate on that one anymore!
I need a bit of help from all of you for my last 4 zappings. Sorry it's a bit late but I've been doing fine for visualisation until now.
My favourite is Rachel's - imagine the old Space Invaders game in a circle around Mr T, pounding away, shooting, making him smaller.
My last one will be everyone of you holding hands in a ring and running in together jumping on the nasty thing. That should do it.
Physically? I'm okay but my eyes are a bit scwiffy...again. I thought that was the tiredness but it seems to hang in there regardless. I'm struggling typing (my lovely assistant, Jeanette will correct for me... :-) but hopefully that will sort itself out. I just want to be back to normal. Thats it. It's been a few months now but I just want to be bacl to normal. I do want to ski, cycle, and run. When I do you'll all know about it....photos, blog, the lot. Never fear!
Alison, my lovely assistant/nurse got engagd on Monday so you have to join me in congratulating her and Dave...awesome! Thanks for not sticking in the needle too hard yesterday and we'll take a wager on my cholesterol?
Love
Ali
Thursday 17 January 2008
Thursday Morning
Bonjour everyone!
Still in bed! I'm just taking everyones advice and sleeping for England. Not long, just 5 to go and then that's it. I must sound like a stuck record (apart from down to 5 days!) but it's all that matters (or rather seems to matter) at the moment. For the last couple of years my friend Martin and I have had a countdown to the end of the season on our laptops. The winter seasons are great fun but tough at work and on May 1st we'd have a small celebration and welcome the summer - which we both love. We both had a giggle about it the other day and decided that we wouldn't countdown anymore. Ever. This is why we now have Best thing Today instead. I prefer that as it means EVERY day matters to you/us/me. You can't get 'em back so have fun as you can.
Nick and Dicky kindly took me in yesterday and the the trip was filled up with the exciting news that Dicky is buying a 39ft yacht called 'Forever Changes' and going to sail her around the world. Wicked! If any of you want to learn how to sail - he's your man by miles. For me it's great to have targets and Jeanette and I are defo going to visit Rich and 'learn the ropes.'
No probs at the Buzzymachine. Just in and out, no delays. 5 to go. Counting on one hand is great you know.
Here is the much anticipated installment from Linz..
The man looks in the mirror and doesn’t recognise the person he has become. An unfamiliar, battle scarred face stares back at him, bearing the marks of the healing treatment. He is not happy with what he sees, so he writes to tell them this and waits for their response…..they read what he writes and they are surprised too, for each of them carry memories of the man that are as clear now as the day he first passed through their lives. As friend, neighbour, colleague, son, or brother, they can see him before them. They write to reassure him, and joke with him, to tell him what they see and how they remember his face. It is not simply the placement of the features, it is how the eyes light up with recognition or understanding, the way the mouth moves as it talks or laughs, the million different ways he responds to those around him. We can see you Ali, for who you are, beyond how you feel right now.
You're a star linz.
Love
Ali
Ps. My brother will try and post a comment that I've had a pedicure. Please ignore him....it's not and will ever be try.
Nice though :-)
Still in bed! I'm just taking everyones advice and sleeping for England. Not long, just 5 to go and then that's it. I must sound like a stuck record (apart from down to 5 days!) but it's all that matters (or rather seems to matter) at the moment. For the last couple of years my friend Martin and I have had a countdown to the end of the season on our laptops. The winter seasons are great fun but tough at work and on May 1st we'd have a small celebration and welcome the summer - which we both love. We both had a giggle about it the other day and decided that we wouldn't countdown anymore. Ever. This is why we now have Best thing Today instead. I prefer that as it means EVERY day matters to you/us/me. You can't get 'em back so have fun as you can.
Nick and Dicky kindly took me in yesterday and the the trip was filled up with the exciting news that Dicky is buying a 39ft yacht called 'Forever Changes' and going to sail her around the world. Wicked! If any of you want to learn how to sail - he's your man by miles. For me it's great to have targets and Jeanette and I are defo going to visit Rich and 'learn the ropes.'
No probs at the Buzzymachine. Just in and out, no delays. 5 to go. Counting on one hand is great you know.
Here is the much anticipated installment from Linz..
The man looks in the mirror and doesn’t recognise the person he has become. An unfamiliar, battle scarred face stares back at him, bearing the marks of the healing treatment. He is not happy with what he sees, so he writes to tell them this and waits for their response…..they read what he writes and they are surprised too, for each of them carry memories of the man that are as clear now as the day he first passed through their lives. As friend, neighbour, colleague, son, or brother, they can see him before them. They write to reassure him, and joke with him, to tell him what they see and how they remember his face. It is not simply the placement of the features, it is how the eyes light up with recognition or understanding, the way the mouth moves as it talks or laughs, the million different ways he responds to those around him. We can see you Ali, for who you are, beyond how you feel right now.
You're a star linz.
Love
Ali
Ps. My brother will try and post a comment that I've had a pedicure. Please ignore him....it's not and will ever be try.
Nice though :-)
Wednesday 16 January 2008
Wednesday Morning
Bonjour everyone!
I'm still in bed and it's 10am...great! Yesterday worked out to be a super day in terms of how I felt and structured the day. It was simple. I woke up at 6am, wrote my blog and generally messed around on my laptop, had breakfast at 9am, went straight back to bed and slept until 3pm!! Awesome. I'm learning so much about my body, it really needs so much sleep at the moment. Once again, Alison was right but I guess I needed to see for myself. Now I'm staying in bed unless I need to be out of it. Funnily enough the sun is shining through the window today and all the web cams are showing snow in France..awesome. Today is good.
My friend Paul kindly took me for a late session last night. After a great cake in Bebos in Welwyn we made our way. The appointment was supposed to be 6.30 because one of the machines was out for servicing. We got there at 5.30 and the waiting room was empty. Doh! No fear one of the girls came out and got me, in and out. 7 went to 6 and we had the quickest zapping of all time. Great. I'm really happy. Top journey home......thanks Paul.
I got home to have a shower and looked in the mirror. Now, I've never been the most handsome of people but I'm a bit messed up at the moment. My hair has fallen out around the sides - it looks like a flat top style cut. The skin is red now (and a itchy, itchy, itchy), there are the scars of the holes where they put the brain biopsy cradle on my head, there is the brain biopsy bore hole scar and finally I've got hamster cheeks (thanks for the description Tony...spot on). Good job I'm engaged!
So, I feel much, much better and that, I am sure, is a result of more sleep. I'm not moving from my bed here until I've slept some more. I've just told myself to sleep as much as I can and it's great.
I guess my head will clear up but they're not sure my hair will grow back....doh! Least of my problems though.
Love
Ali
I'm still in bed and it's 10am...great! Yesterday worked out to be a super day in terms of how I felt and structured the day. It was simple. I woke up at 6am, wrote my blog and generally messed around on my laptop, had breakfast at 9am, went straight back to bed and slept until 3pm!! Awesome. I'm learning so much about my body, it really needs so much sleep at the moment. Once again, Alison was right but I guess I needed to see for myself. Now I'm staying in bed unless I need to be out of it. Funnily enough the sun is shining through the window today and all the web cams are showing snow in France..awesome. Today is good.
My friend Paul kindly took me for a late session last night. After a great cake in Bebos in Welwyn we made our way. The appointment was supposed to be 6.30 because one of the machines was out for servicing. We got there at 5.30 and the waiting room was empty. Doh! No fear one of the girls came out and got me, in and out. 7 went to 6 and we had the quickest zapping of all time. Great. I'm really happy. Top journey home......thanks Paul.
I got home to have a shower and looked in the mirror. Now, I've never been the most handsome of people but I'm a bit messed up at the moment. My hair has fallen out around the sides - it looks like a flat top style cut. The skin is red now (and a itchy, itchy, itchy), there are the scars of the holes where they put the brain biopsy cradle on my head, there is the brain biopsy bore hole scar and finally I've got hamster cheeks (thanks for the description Tony...spot on). Good job I'm engaged!
So, I feel much, much better and that, I am sure, is a result of more sleep. I'm not moving from my bed here until I've slept some more. I've just told myself to sleep as much as I can and it's great.
I guess my head will clear up but they're not sure my hair will grow back....doh! Least of my problems though.
Love
Ali
Tuesday 15 January 2008
Tuesday Morning
Bonjour everyone!
My treatment is at 6.30 this evening so I won't have much to report until then (other than that 'the machines are running late again'). Actually, I'll probably be sleeping when I get back so if I do a short blog now I hope that will suffice. My ears are burning now. They really are. It's pretty much exactly where the radiation goes in so they are flaking, dry and red. The aqueous cream is awesome though (thanks Alison) but I think I'll need to be sponsored by Ecolab to get a few months supply because my ears really are burning! I can't stop mum from keeping rubbing in the cream (or rather won't stop mum). I hope my hair grows back.
Dr Wilson suggested that I might perhaps miss my afternoon sleep and then sleep through from bedtime to morning because at the moment I'm struggling a bit with sleep patterns. I'm currently enjoying falling asleep at 9pm, going through to 4am then nada until my car trip home the next day. So, last night was comical but better.
At 8pm mum and dad had to prise me from the sofa because I was away with the fairies. I tried to call Jeanette but made no sense to her at all and the last thing I remember was Jeanette saying "Put the phone down now!" So, I did and that was it. I woke up so many times but 'slept' through to 6am yippee! Great - can't wait to bring on the day although I can hear rain against my window....again!
7 to go. Paul is taking me today, we'll have a cuppa in Bebos in Welwyn then go and get it done then that's it. 6 is much less than 7!
This is something that my friend Sally wrote on the message...
"There's no thrill in easy sailing when the skies are clear and blue; there's not joy in merely doing things which any one can do. But there is some satisfaction that is mighty sweet to take, when you reach a destination that you thought you'd never make"
Wow!
love
Ali
My treatment is at 6.30 this evening so I won't have much to report until then (other than that 'the machines are running late again'). Actually, I'll probably be sleeping when I get back so if I do a short blog now I hope that will suffice. My ears are burning now. They really are. It's pretty much exactly where the radiation goes in so they are flaking, dry and red. The aqueous cream is awesome though (thanks Alison) but I think I'll need to be sponsored by Ecolab to get a few months supply because my ears really are burning! I can't stop mum from keeping rubbing in the cream (or rather won't stop mum). I hope my hair grows back.
Dr Wilson suggested that I might perhaps miss my afternoon sleep and then sleep through from bedtime to morning because at the moment I'm struggling a bit with sleep patterns. I'm currently enjoying falling asleep at 9pm, going through to 4am then nada until my car trip home the next day. So, last night was comical but better.
At 8pm mum and dad had to prise me from the sofa because I was away with the fairies. I tried to call Jeanette but made no sense to her at all and the last thing I remember was Jeanette saying "Put the phone down now!" So, I did and that was it. I woke up so many times but 'slept' through to 6am yippee! Great - can't wait to bring on the day although I can hear rain against my window....again!
7 to go. Paul is taking me today, we'll have a cuppa in Bebos in Welwyn then go and get it done then that's it. 6 is much less than 7!
This is something that my friend Sally wrote on the message...
"There's no thrill in easy sailing when the skies are clear and blue; there's not joy in merely doing things which any one can do. But there is some satisfaction that is mighty sweet to take, when you reach a destination that you thought you'd never make"
Wow!
love
Ali
Monday 14 January 2008
Monday afternoon
Re-bonjour everyone!
I'm just back from the zappy place. Cor, I didn't feel well from the moment I got out of bed. Just dizzy and really out of balance so Julia and I went to see my Consultant Oncologist Dr Wilson who was kind enough to see me pretty much straight away. I've absolutely no complaints about the way I've been looked after at the hospital...brilliant.
Well, the problem is all that radiation that they're zapping into me. I really, really hope it works after all this! Think Shrink now please!!
Massive thanks to Julia for the sausage sandwiches, Kettle crisps, cherries and TURKISH DELIGHT! mmmmmmmm
I fell asleep in the waiting room again and yes, 'The machines were running late again....doh!'
I forgot to remind you all this morning that we're down to 12 milligrams of those horrid steroids. Yeah! Good job because I'm getting chubby again. Dr Wilson said that arm and leg muscles waist on them and that's why I'm struggling a bit. Well, we all knew this was going to happen so...keep on keeping on and fight the good fight.
There's be a small party on March 10th when the steroids finish and you're invited!
Here's a little message from my nephews Charlie and Archie...... http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=JMyjbZu1HeI
Love
Ali
I'm just back from the zappy place. Cor, I didn't feel well from the moment I got out of bed. Just dizzy and really out of balance so Julia and I went to see my Consultant Oncologist Dr Wilson who was kind enough to see me pretty much straight away. I've absolutely no complaints about the way I've been looked after at the hospital...brilliant.
Well, the problem is all that radiation that they're zapping into me. I really, really hope it works after all this! Think Shrink now please!!
Massive thanks to Julia for the sausage sandwiches, Kettle crisps, cherries and TURKISH DELIGHT! mmmmmmmm
I fell asleep in the waiting room again and yes, 'The machines were running late again....doh!'
I forgot to remind you all this morning that we're down to 12 milligrams of those horrid steroids. Yeah! Good job because I'm getting chubby again. Dr Wilson said that arm and leg muscles waist on them and that's why I'm struggling a bit. Well, we all knew this was going to happen so...keep on keeping on and fight the good fight.
There's be a small party on March 10th when the steroids finish and you're invited!
Here's a little message from my nephews Charlie and Archie...... http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=JMyjbZu1HeI
Love
Ali
Monday Morning
Bonjour everyone!
All you lucky people with a Bluebird day in France, I hope you made some good turns for me (and Russ!) I defo want to hear about the good days so keep it coming, makes me even more excited about coming home! Seriously, I can hear the rain against my window!
Just a quick one really but this comment made me laugh....
Mate,
Best wishes from qll here in frqnce; wont write ;uch due to stupid frencj keyboqrd: beqt dqd qt golf so thqts good1; See you on zednesdqy with dicky M: think shrink:
Fqtnick:
And this one made me think...
People walk in and out of your life every day.......only some leave footprints on your heart
all the best mate tough times don't last, tough people do
Thanks Malc
Thanks for all your comments from around the world, I'm ready to start the last full week now. I've got, as always, a super team taking me to and from the Royal Free starting with Julia and my packed lunches mmmmm! Kettle crisps rock! Paul is taking me tomorrow (Bebos for tea as well mate?), Fat Nick and Dicky on Wed for the afternoon session (can't wait!) Dad on Thursday but no Porsche garage on the way home! Mum for just being there and bringing the lovely tea!Finally, I have a new team members joining on Fri in the shape of Lucinda who would have done another one but I was sleeping in Hospital! Can't wait Luce!
My 'support team' have been brill in taking me up, trying to park in the small parking places, having hot chocolate, waiting, watching (I make everyone come in and see what happens!) then driving me home when I'm sleeping. Special mention to Phil for his endless help and drives up, and to my bro Si for driving our left hand Golf through Hampstead (you made it look easy!)
Love
Ali
All you lucky people with a Bluebird day in France, I hope you made some good turns for me (and Russ!) I defo want to hear about the good days so keep it coming, makes me even more excited about coming home! Seriously, I can hear the rain against my window!
Just a quick one really but this comment made me laugh....
Mate,
Best wishes from qll here in frqnce; wont write ;uch due to stupid frencj keyboqrd: beqt dqd qt golf so thqts good1; See you on zednesdqy with dicky M: think shrink:
Fqtnick:
And this one made me think...
People walk in and out of your life every day.......only some leave footprints on your heart
all the best mate tough times don't last, tough people do
Thanks Malc
Thanks for all your comments from around the world, I'm ready to start the last full week now. I've got, as always, a super team taking me to and from the Royal Free starting with Julia and my packed lunches mmmmm! Kettle crisps rock! Paul is taking me tomorrow (Bebos for tea as well mate?), Fat Nick and Dicky on Wed for the afternoon session (can't wait!) Dad on Thursday but no Porsche garage on the way home! Mum for just being there and bringing the lovely tea!Finally, I have a new team members joining on Fri in the shape of Lucinda who would have done another one but I was sleeping in Hospital! Can't wait Luce!
My 'support team' have been brill in taking me up, trying to park in the small parking places, having hot chocolate, waiting, watching (I make everyone come in and see what happens!) then driving me home when I'm sleeping. Special mention to Phil for his endless help and drives up, and to my bro Si for driving our left hand Golf through Hampstead (you made it look easy!)
Love
Ali
Sunday 13 January 2008
Sunday Morning
Bonjour everyone!
Cor, I didn't realise how much the radiotherapy gets to you. Saturday is defo an off day because I think it's just the cumulative effect of the radiation that hits you. I was a bit embarrassed because Phil, Tim, John, Dino and myself went for a walk around Verelamium Lake and I had to sit down half way round because I was out of breath. No kidding. My legs were like jelly when I got back to the car (and I fell asleep in the car on the way home...again!) But it was super to get out, have some fresh air, see the sun and have a chat with the lads.
I'm sleeping really erratically now and I'm tired pretty much all the time. I could just about get up the stairs to bed last night, sleep for 4 hours and then awake for 4. I've discovered BBC iPlayer which is fantastic and so I'm watching re runs of Qi in the early hours! See, something good has come from this little bit of bad.
8 days to go. I'm surely counting the treatments. Middle of next week and we're done.
I know Think Shrink will work. Cor, it has to after all this hassle and zapping. They're doing it for a very good reason and that is that this WILL WORK.
Speak tomorrow
Love
Ali
Cor, I didn't realise how much the radiotherapy gets to you. Saturday is defo an off day because I think it's just the cumulative effect of the radiation that hits you. I was a bit embarrassed because Phil, Tim, John, Dino and myself went for a walk around Verelamium Lake and I had to sit down half way round because I was out of breath. No kidding. My legs were like jelly when I got back to the car (and I fell asleep in the car on the way home...again!) But it was super to get out, have some fresh air, see the sun and have a chat with the lads.
I'm sleeping really erratically now and I'm tired pretty much all the time. I could just about get up the stairs to bed last night, sleep for 4 hours and then awake for 4. I've discovered BBC iPlayer which is fantastic and so I'm watching re runs of Qi in the early hours! See, something good has come from this little bit of bad.
8 days to go. I'm surely counting the treatments. Middle of next week and we're done.
I know Think Shrink will work. Cor, it has to after all this hassle and zapping. They're doing it for a very good reason and that is that this WILL WORK.
Speak tomorrow
Love
Ali
Friday 11 January 2008
Friday Evening.....8 to go!
Bonjour eveyone!
Sorry for not blogging yesterday, I was absolutely drained and had to have some serious sleep. I think It was a combination of a great day with Nick Bernie but also the Gang Show in the evening. Many thanks to Bob for looking after me and getting my ice cream at half time but also Ewuan and the Gang for putting on the best Wednesday evening show I've ever seen or been in! The last song brought a lump to our throats Ewan - very, very meaningful and it's helping tremendously.
It was brilliant to spend short bit of time with Tony, Andy, Tristan, Nick and Si again.
So, yesterday I really did sleep for England. It's funny that those in the know at the hospital (Super Alison...again!) tell you that you're going to be tired, you don't really take much attention, until you really are tired. Then you take notice but it's too late! I'm really tired now. I've never sat down to clean my teeth and I just sit everywhere I go. Getting up is a nuisance now and I groan a bit which makes me sound like an old man. Speaking of old men, I haven't seen anyone younger than me at the radiotherapy dept. They're all much older. I must be special (or in the wrong waiting room!)
Lindz wrote the loveliest thing. I have to blog this because it's special. You all care so much that it really does touch me. Thank you so much.
Part two
The man gets off his bike and sits down in the tunnel, he rests his head against the concrete wall. He is so tired, he doesn’t know if he can go on. He knows that the mountain is stretching above him and it feels like a heavy weight pressing down on him – he closes his eyes…Think shrink, think shrink, think shrinkIs that his own heart beat or is it a voice? A small voice but a voice all the same. He hears a tapping keyboard, and a worried voice at the back of his mind ‘where is Ali, why hasn’t he updated the blog’ think shrink think shrink. Around the world friends are logging on, trying to make a connection, fumbling with the unfamiliar technology as they rush to leave their words of support. Tap tap tap go the keys, think shrink think shrink. The voices are all different, not all are speaking English, but the message is the same.The man gathers enough energy to open his eyes, he looks down the tunnel and sees a tiny pin prick of light, was it there before? He is not sure, but the more he focuses on it, the brighter it becomes. He stands up, swaying slightly at first and holds onto the metal frame of his bike. He feels stronger and steadier, he concentrates on the beat and begins to pedal, think shrink think shrink. He is off, heading towards the end of the tunnel and the fresh mountain air, counting down as he goes….
10 January 2008 13:31
Linz
Love
Ali
Sorry for not blogging yesterday, I was absolutely drained and had to have some serious sleep. I think It was a combination of a great day with Nick Bernie but also the Gang Show in the evening. Many thanks to Bob for looking after me and getting my ice cream at half time but also Ewuan and the Gang for putting on the best Wednesday evening show I've ever seen or been in! The last song brought a lump to our throats Ewan - very, very meaningful and it's helping tremendously.
It was brilliant to spend short bit of time with Tony, Andy, Tristan, Nick and Si again.
So, yesterday I really did sleep for England. It's funny that those in the know at the hospital (Super Alison...again!) tell you that you're going to be tired, you don't really take much attention, until you really are tired. Then you take notice but it's too late! I'm really tired now. I've never sat down to clean my teeth and I just sit everywhere I go. Getting up is a nuisance now and I groan a bit which makes me sound like an old man. Speaking of old men, I haven't seen anyone younger than me at the radiotherapy dept. They're all much older. I must be special (or in the wrong waiting room!)
Lindz wrote the loveliest thing. I have to blog this because it's special. You all care so much that it really does touch me. Thank you so much.
Part two
The man gets off his bike and sits down in the tunnel, he rests his head against the concrete wall. He is so tired, he doesn’t know if he can go on. He knows that the mountain is stretching above him and it feels like a heavy weight pressing down on him – he closes his eyes…Think shrink, think shrink, think shrinkIs that his own heart beat or is it a voice? A small voice but a voice all the same. He hears a tapping keyboard, and a worried voice at the back of his mind ‘where is Ali, why hasn’t he updated the blog’ think shrink think shrink. Around the world friends are logging on, trying to make a connection, fumbling with the unfamiliar technology as they rush to leave their words of support. Tap tap tap go the keys, think shrink think shrink. The voices are all different, not all are speaking English, but the message is the same.The man gathers enough energy to open his eyes, he looks down the tunnel and sees a tiny pin prick of light, was it there before? He is not sure, but the more he focuses on it, the brighter it becomes. He stands up, swaying slightly at first and holds onto the metal frame of his bike. He feels stronger and steadier, he concentrates on the beat and begins to pedal, think shrink think shrink. He is off, heading towards the end of the tunnel and the fresh mountain air, counting down as he goes….
10 January 2008 13:31
Linz
Love
Ali
Thursday 10 January 2008
Thursday Evening Ali Sleeping
Hi,
Ali has been feeling really tired today and is sleeping loads so he has asked me to write a brief message tonight.
Ali especially wanted me to say how great it was to go to the Harpenden gang show last night. We saw lots of old friends and it was such good fun singing along and remembering the times we were all up on stage.
Well done to all those still involved, it was a great show and it made us very proud to have been part of such a fantastic unit.
'Something Inside so Strong' (Labi Siffre) was downloaded last night after the show, what an inspiring and powerful song to end the show.
Take care and keep strong
Si
Ali has been feeling really tired today and is sleeping loads so he has asked me to write a brief message tonight.
Ali especially wanted me to say how great it was to go to the Harpenden gang show last night. We saw lots of old friends and it was such good fun singing along and remembering the times we were all up on stage.
Well done to all those still involved, it was a great show and it made us very proud to have been part of such a fantastic unit.
'Something Inside so Strong' (Labi Siffre) was downloaded last night after the show, what an inspiring and powerful song to end the show.
Take care and keep strong
Si
Wednesday 9 January 2008
Great Day! Wednesday Afternoon
Bonjour everyone!
This has turned out to be a great day. Never mind the BuzzyMachine (we're down to 10 zaps now ha ha yippee!) but it started with my friend Bernie bringing bacon sandwiches for breakkie. I got the all clear from Jeanette that I could have one. He also brought those lovely little cup cakes which didn't last long. Okay, so I had to save one for Nick...doh!
Nick came round and took us to St Albans station to drop off Jeanette. That was the one bad thing that happened I guess - Jet going home. Not long and we'll be back together again soon. Can't wait.
Then we went to Nandos and had a chicken lunch which was scrummy. I didn't have chips or any other nasties so I felt great (okay toffee cheesecake is an exception..right?)
Machines were running late again so we stretched out lunch and got to the Royal Free for 30 mins chat/sleep before zapping. How do I feel? Tired but really, really positive and happy at the mo. I've just had so many lovely mails, and comments that I can't believe it. Over 3500 hits to the blog, countless comments (keep trying, but defo put yourself as anon as it asks but of course sign off with your name, it does work, I tried a few times and seriously if I can do then you all can!) emails, calls and visits. Life is so good to us in a lot of ways. When I first knew what I had then I really did think of dying, longevity of life, what I hadn't achieved yet and so on. It was pretty grim but this blog and all of you helped me. Thank you so much. For a typical example of the support I'm getting from out there, you have to see this youtube clip of my great friend Richard and his 'extended' family in Italy and what they did for me.This brought a lump to my throat...
http://www.youtube.com/dogmad1969
Thank you so much Rich
It's not over yet - we're all Thinking Shrink and have 10 treatments to go. Visualisation when I'm getting zapped are mini space invaders surrounding the tumor and firing into it when the radiation actually gets released. This really works for me (thank you Rachel). Any ideas for visualisation? I'd love to hear from you...
Thank you all. We're fighting a good fight.
Bye bye Jet, see you soon.
Love
Ali
This has turned out to be a great day. Never mind the BuzzyMachine (we're down to 10 zaps now ha ha yippee!) but it started with my friend Bernie bringing bacon sandwiches for breakkie. I got the all clear from Jeanette that I could have one. He also brought those lovely little cup cakes which didn't last long. Okay, so I had to save one for Nick...doh!
Nick came round and took us to St Albans station to drop off Jeanette. That was the one bad thing that happened I guess - Jet going home. Not long and we'll be back together again soon. Can't wait.
Then we went to Nandos and had a chicken lunch which was scrummy. I didn't have chips or any other nasties so I felt great (okay toffee cheesecake is an exception..right?)
Machines were running late again so we stretched out lunch and got to the Royal Free for 30 mins chat/sleep before zapping. How do I feel? Tired but really, really positive and happy at the mo. I've just had so many lovely mails, and comments that I can't believe it. Over 3500 hits to the blog, countless comments (keep trying, but defo put yourself as anon as it asks but of course sign off with your name, it does work, I tried a few times and seriously if I can do then you all can!) emails, calls and visits. Life is so good to us in a lot of ways. When I first knew what I had then I really did think of dying, longevity of life, what I hadn't achieved yet and so on. It was pretty grim but this blog and all of you helped me. Thank you so much. For a typical example of the support I'm getting from out there, you have to see this youtube clip of my great friend Richard and his 'extended' family in Italy and what they did for me.This brought a lump to my throat...
http://www.youtube.com/dogmad1969
Thank you so much Rich
It's not over yet - we're all Thinking Shrink and have 10 treatments to go. Visualisation when I'm getting zapped are mini space invaders surrounding the tumor and firing into it when the radiation actually gets released. This really works for me (thank you Rachel). Any ideas for visualisation? I'd love to hear from you...
Thank you all. We're fighting a good fight.
Bye bye Jet, see you soon.
Love
Ali
Tuesday 8 January 2008
Tuesday Evening - 11 to go!
Bonjour folks!
Just back from treatment number 19 so nearly, nearly down to single figures. I can't wait. I'm dreaming up my exit strategy, assuming I feel well - back home to France to the log fires (that's my job!) and everything else that is home. I feel like I'm knocking England a bit and of course I would never put down living here, it's just that I get up (with a dry mouth), shower, clothes, faff for about 2 hours, A1, Fichley Road, zapped by Buzzy, sandwiches (marmite and cucumber were the winner today mum...thank you!) Fichley Road, A1, sleep for 3 or 4 hours, shower, dinner and then away with the dry mouth again. It's not England's fault. I'd probably be saying the same if I was in France.
Thank you so much for your suggestions regarding getting rid of metallic mouth. Sucking frozen pineapple and eating peardrops is my favourite. Not long to go and then we're done.
Once treatment has finished I have 8/10 weeks before they scan my brain and see what the story is. We'll have a meeting with my consultant Dr Wilson, Dr Amanda and hopefully Alison (please no more blood sugar test ;-) Then it's D-Day for Think Shrink. I plan to live life to the absolute full until then and I hope you'll do the same.
Best thing that happened to me today?
Sitting in a Porsche looking at my Dad grinning from ear to ear. Brilliant! Do it Dad!
Love
Ali
Just back from treatment number 19 so nearly, nearly down to single figures. I can't wait. I'm dreaming up my exit strategy, assuming I feel well - back home to France to the log fires (that's my job!) and everything else that is home. I feel like I'm knocking England a bit and of course I would never put down living here, it's just that I get up (with a dry mouth), shower, clothes, faff for about 2 hours, A1, Fichley Road, zapped by Buzzy, sandwiches (marmite and cucumber were the winner today mum...thank you!) Fichley Road, A1, sleep for 3 or 4 hours, shower, dinner and then away with the dry mouth again. It's not England's fault. I'd probably be saying the same if I was in France.
Thank you so much for your suggestions regarding getting rid of metallic mouth. Sucking frozen pineapple and eating peardrops is my favourite. Not long to go and then we're done.
Once treatment has finished I have 8/10 weeks before they scan my brain and see what the story is. We'll have a meeting with my consultant Dr Wilson, Dr Amanda and hopefully Alison (please no more blood sugar test ;-) Then it's D-Day for Think Shrink. I plan to live life to the absolute full until then and I hope you'll do the same.
Best thing that happened to me today?
Sitting in a Porsche looking at my Dad grinning from ear to ear. Brilliant! Do it Dad!
Love
Ali
Monday 7 January 2008
Bonjour folks!
I'm sorry for not writing yesterday, I was a bit too tired and I couldn't see as well as I'd liked to have to have typed much. I feel like I'm entering a tunnel. Don't worry, I can see the other side. It's just that I don't know how long it's going to be until I can get to the other side.
I know I'm coming into the stage when I'm going to have to go with the way I feel and accept that I'm tired and not able to do what I'd like. I've always thought that I'd be the first to jump up and do things but I just can't now. It's not very nice. You know when you've got a nasty cold (or Man Flu!) and you never believe that you'll be better again? That's how I feel just now. All I really want is to be back to normal again - skiing, running, cycling, bringing in the wood and everything that's normal.
One bit of cracking news today is that my steriods are coming down! This means that (don't worry Alison/Amanda/Dr Wilson!) assuming I don't have any headaches that I am dropping from 16 miligramms of Dexamethazone to 14 and dropping 2 miligramms per week until I finish them. Then I can have a pint of Guiness!
Ok, steriods. I hate steriods so much you wouldn't believe. I really need them at the moment because they keep the swelling down in my brain and they do a great job of that. The reason I had to stay in hospital a few days before Christmas was because I was vomiting the steriods without knowing. That was a bit close but the morphine was nice! Again, not for sympathy I just want you to understand what it's like on these things and how I feel just now...
I know I should drink more fluid but I really, really have to force myself. All summer I cycle and I drink huge quantaties of water. The steriods give you a mettalic taste - constantly so everything tastes the same. You should see how many cordials we have in the house! I don't want to drink but I know I should. Every night I wake up what must be 20-30 times and I'm as thirsty a you can ever imagine. My tongue sometimes is so dry it really is like a piece of leather.
The eating! Okay, I was told that I would get a 'bit' of a tummy and that it would show on my face a bit. It does! I've never eaten so much (I know I've blogged this before but it means a lot to me so I'm writing it again!) It's good that I'm coming down on the Dex because I really don't like the eating thing and although people say I need to put on a few pounds, I don't want to change at all from what I was before this.
There are a few more things which I'll tell you about next time. Before that I want to say a big thanks to Philip for the lift up to BuzzyMachine and the wait around! Thanks for John to come all the way over from Fulham to see us - great to see you again pal - better times wait! To my Jeanette for being there - as always.
Love
Ali
I'm sorry for not writing yesterday, I was a bit too tired and I couldn't see as well as I'd liked to have to have typed much. I feel like I'm entering a tunnel. Don't worry, I can see the other side. It's just that I don't know how long it's going to be until I can get to the other side.
I know I'm coming into the stage when I'm going to have to go with the way I feel and accept that I'm tired and not able to do what I'd like. I've always thought that I'd be the first to jump up and do things but I just can't now. It's not very nice. You know when you've got a nasty cold (or Man Flu!) and you never believe that you'll be better again? That's how I feel just now. All I really want is to be back to normal again - skiing, running, cycling, bringing in the wood and everything that's normal.
One bit of cracking news today is that my steriods are coming down! This means that (don't worry Alison/Amanda/Dr Wilson!) assuming I don't have any headaches that I am dropping from 16 miligramms of Dexamethazone to 14 and dropping 2 miligramms per week until I finish them. Then I can have a pint of Guiness!
Ok, steriods. I hate steriods so much you wouldn't believe. I really need them at the moment because they keep the swelling down in my brain and they do a great job of that. The reason I had to stay in hospital a few days before Christmas was because I was vomiting the steriods without knowing. That was a bit close but the morphine was nice! Again, not for sympathy I just want you to understand what it's like on these things and how I feel just now...
I know I should drink more fluid but I really, really have to force myself. All summer I cycle and I drink huge quantaties of water. The steriods give you a mettalic taste - constantly so everything tastes the same. You should see how many cordials we have in the house! I don't want to drink but I know I should. Every night I wake up what must be 20-30 times and I'm as thirsty a you can ever imagine. My tongue sometimes is so dry it really is like a piece of leather.
The eating! Okay, I was told that I would get a 'bit' of a tummy and that it would show on my face a bit. It does! I've never eaten so much (I know I've blogged this before but it means a lot to me so I'm writing it again!) It's good that I'm coming down on the Dex because I really don't like the eating thing and although people say I need to put on a few pounds, I don't want to change at all from what I was before this.
There are a few more things which I'll tell you about next time. Before that I want to say a big thanks to Philip for the lift up to BuzzyMachine and the wait around! Thanks for John to come all the way over from Fulham to see us - great to see you again pal - better times wait! To my Jeanette for being there - as always.
Love
Ali
Saturday 5 January 2008
Saturday Evening
Hello folks
I'm sorry, this is going to be short. I can't see too good so I'm making mistakes when typing because my eyes are scwiffy again, This happened last Saturday and I guess it is a combination of all the radiation in the week and just being tired. We went for a super walk today with Rob, Andrea, Tim and Dino over the Brocket Estate. I'm getting a bit fitter but it kind of ruins it when everything is double vision. I can still eat though haha.
The other horrible thing is when I go for my sleep and wake up I'm really, really exhausted. So much so that I can't move. It's like something has taken all your energy away and you simply can't move...at all. This takes about 30 mins and then you wake up properly and can do things. It's scary beyond belief.
So, two not so nice things but we knew all this was going to happen. I'm focussing on the good and it will come. Funnily eoungh I'm sitting in bed talking about my life and how long it could be with Jeanette, but at the same time in Courchevel today I would have my busiest day of the season as all our gap students come in today. It's funny how your focus changes.
So, the best thing that happenend to me today was marmite on toast followed by a lovely walk in the English countryside. What was yours?
Love
Ali
I'm sorry, this is going to be short. I can't see too good so I'm making mistakes when typing because my eyes are scwiffy again, This happened last Saturday and I guess it is a combination of all the radiation in the week and just being tired. We went for a super walk today with Rob, Andrea, Tim and Dino over the Brocket Estate. I'm getting a bit fitter but it kind of ruins it when everything is double vision. I can still eat though haha.
The other horrible thing is when I go for my sleep and wake up I'm really, really exhausted. So much so that I can't move. It's like something has taken all your energy away and you simply can't move...at all. This takes about 30 mins and then you wake up properly and can do things. It's scary beyond belief.
So, two not so nice things but we knew all this was going to happen. I'm focussing on the good and it will come. Funnily eoungh I'm sitting in bed talking about my life and how long it could be with Jeanette, but at the same time in Courchevel today I would have my busiest day of the season as all our gap students come in today. It's funny how your focus changes.
So, the best thing that happenend to me today was marmite on toast followed by a lovely walk in the English countryside. What was yours?
Love
Ali
Friday 4 January 2008
Friday afternoon - 13 to go!
Hey folks! 13 treatments to go! I forgot to mention that I don't have a BuzzyMachine music list anymore. The reason is because I'm not as scared of the machine as I was. In fact we all know that she is my friend and trying to help me. Every time I hear that buzz that releases that radiation I imagine knights fighting the tumor and attacking it to make it smaller. Any ideas of visualisation - just fire them over and I promise I will be using them!
I fell asleep in the waiting room today. Kind of surprised myself because I don't like people seeing me dribble! I'm tired now, really tired. Two days break is perfect but not much going on, just keeping my side of the bargain - drink water, sleep and rest (and update the blog!) I hope you like it, we get so many hits (over 2000 since Christmas). It's a two way thing. I write some news an in return get so many positive and lovely messages. Thank you so much.
Love
Ali
I fell asleep in the waiting room today. Kind of surprised myself because I don't like people seeing me dribble! I'm tired now, really tired. Two days break is perfect but not much going on, just keeping my side of the bargain - drink water, sleep and rest (and update the blog!) I hope you like it, we get so many hits (over 2000 since Christmas). It's a two way thing. I write some news an in return get so many positive and lovely messages. Thank you so much.
Love
Ali
Thursday 3 January 2008
Thanks so much to Julia for the 'swift lift' in today. 34 minutes in the Porche....nice!
Hot chocolate, massage, treatment, packed lunch, home, brilliant!
I feel fine although tired. Nothing much more to report. 14 treatments to go and I'm really getting excited about heading back to France. Once the treatment finishes I have 8 weeks before they need to see me although I'm not allowed to leave England unless I feel fine. I'll be tired then I've been told, really tired. No sweat.
You know, I've had some of the loveliest things written in the comments. Have a read of this....
A man sat down at his computer and started to type ‘Bonjour everyone!! I didn't ever think I'd be here but none of us do I guess…’ and he starts to tell us what he is feeling and thinking.And it begins, a slow whisper that spreads quickly around the world – thinkshrink, thinkshrinkReaching up to the highest Alpine mountain, across the world to the sun drenched beaches of Australia, across the pacific to America, riding the waves of the Atlantic to stretch back across Europe and home to Hertfordshire. By then the whisper is louder and stronger, a definite chant, a mantra – thinkshrink, thinkshrink. At keyboards around the globe, friends old and new take up the beat, the rhythm of the words sending strength through the electronic ether…As he sits at his computer the man sees the words we send him and hopefully he knows, if he could look right through the screen he would see us all looking back at him as the beat grows stronger and stronger – thinkshrink, thinkshrink, thinkshrink….a united heartbeat, the living sound of hope.
Whoever that was....thanks.
Keep 'em coming, it's so lovely to hear from you. From my great friends in Courchevel and other parts of the French and Swiss Alps to New Zealand, to England. My old school friends, neighbours, school teachers and family friends. We can beat this together. I feel very humbled but I'm taking great strength from all of you.
Love
Ali
Hot chocolate, massage, treatment, packed lunch, home, brilliant!
I feel fine although tired. Nothing much more to report. 14 treatments to go and I'm really getting excited about heading back to France. Once the treatment finishes I have 8 weeks before they need to see me although I'm not allowed to leave England unless I feel fine. I'll be tired then I've been told, really tired. No sweat.
You know, I've had some of the loveliest things written in the comments. Have a read of this....
A man sat down at his computer and started to type ‘Bonjour everyone!! I didn't ever think I'd be here but none of us do I guess…’ and he starts to tell us what he is feeling and thinking.And it begins, a slow whisper that spreads quickly around the world – thinkshrink, thinkshrinkReaching up to the highest Alpine mountain, across the world to the sun drenched beaches of Australia, across the pacific to America, riding the waves of the Atlantic to stretch back across Europe and home to Hertfordshire. By then the whisper is louder and stronger, a definite chant, a mantra – thinkshrink, thinkshrink. At keyboards around the globe, friends old and new take up the beat, the rhythm of the words sending strength through the electronic ether…As he sits at his computer the man sees the words we send him and hopefully he knows, if he could look right through the screen he would see us all looking back at him as the beat grows stronger and stronger – thinkshrink, thinkshrink, thinkshrink….a united heartbeat, the living sound of hope.
Whoever that was....thanks.
Keep 'em coming, it's so lovely to hear from you. From my great friends in Courchevel and other parts of the French and Swiss Alps to New Zealand, to England. My old school friends, neighbours, school teachers and family friends. We can beat this together. I feel very humbled but I'm taking great strength from all of you.
Love
Ali
Wednesday 2 January 2008
Hi everyone,
Sorry it's a bit late, I've just woken up! Afternoon sleeps rock! Cor, they were right when they said I would be tired. Poor old Jeanette took about 2 hours (no kidding) to get me ready for going up to hospital this morning. I still forgot my wallet! I really do feel like an invalid sometimes. I'm unsteady on my feet, giddy, I forget things and I can't be bothered to do things. I've got a lovely tummy on me now and it's so unlike me to not be bothered to do things. I've been told this is normal with all the steroids and the disease but I hate it. Maybe this is the time to listen to Winston Churchill "If you're going through hell.....keep going" I know I'm going to be the old Ali again. I know I am.
On the other hand I'm half way through my treatment today!! Yippee. I'm not kidding when I say that treatment is easy. I might have said this already but poor old Dad does the driving, I just sleep or tell him how to drive! Sorry Dad. I go in, get zapped and go home. Actually I also try and nap a free massage which is awesome. Thanks Keith!
My job, I've been told is as follows.....
Sorry it's a bit late, I've just woken up! Afternoon sleeps rock! Cor, they were right when they said I would be tired. Poor old Jeanette took about 2 hours (no kidding) to get me ready for going up to hospital this morning. I still forgot my wallet! I really do feel like an invalid sometimes. I'm unsteady on my feet, giddy, I forget things and I can't be bothered to do things. I've got a lovely tummy on me now and it's so unlike me to not be bothered to do things. I've been told this is normal with all the steroids and the disease but I hate it. Maybe this is the time to listen to Winston Churchill "If you're going through hell.....keep going" I know I'm going to be the old Ali again. I know I am.
On the other hand I'm half way through my treatment today!! Yippee. I'm not kidding when I say that treatment is easy. I might have said this already but poor old Dad does the driving, I just sleep or tell him how to drive! Sorry Dad. I go in, get zapped and go home. Actually I also try and nap a free massage which is awesome. Thanks Keith!
My job, I've been told is as follows.....
- Drink enough water
- Sleep and rest enough
- Take my pills on time
That's it!
Love to you all, more piccies tomorrow as I'm not on my laptop just now!
Ali
Tuesday 1 January 2008
Happy New Year!
Hey folks.
Do you feel good? Has the best thing happened to you yet today? Keep it going, it works and it really rocks! Write it down and it's there forever.
Mine? Up early, cooked breakfast, walk the dog, home for pork and beans lunch mmm, Jeanette and Phil playing Backgammon, me having a timely and much needed snooze, cold outside, warm inside. Life is good.
That's all great and would count towards the best thing but for me it really does have to be the huge amount of people that are contacting us via this blog and sending their love, positiveness and best wishes. From NZ (keep it coming gman!) to Bellentre (C you're a star), to S in Verbier (thanks pal) to J (the poet!) and S in Cagnes (we'll see Isola together one day) the list is endless. I would love to say hello on the blog but have been recommended that it should not be two way.
Please, please keep the messages coming, the strength we gain (I say we because it does extend to our family and friends) is limitless and the positiveness helps beat this thing.
I still believe that in this happening some good will come from it. If it was someone else suffering from this we would never have been part of this and perhaps this blog would never have taken place. We're all in it together and we'll get through it together. I couldn't wait to tell you that tomorrow is half way through the treatment!!
Love to you all and Happy New Year
Love
Ali
ps. THINKSHRINK!
Do you feel good? Has the best thing happened to you yet today? Keep it going, it works and it really rocks! Write it down and it's there forever.
Mine? Up early, cooked breakfast, walk the dog, home for pork and beans lunch mmm, Jeanette and Phil playing Backgammon, me having a timely and much needed snooze, cold outside, warm inside. Life is good.
That's all great and would count towards the best thing but for me it really does have to be the huge amount of people that are contacting us via this blog and sending their love, positiveness and best wishes. From NZ (keep it coming gman!) to Bellentre (C you're a star), to S in Verbier (thanks pal) to J (the poet!) and S in Cagnes (we'll see Isola together one day) the list is endless. I would love to say hello on the blog but have been recommended that it should not be two way.
Please, please keep the messages coming, the strength we gain (I say we because it does extend to our family and friends) is limitless and the positiveness helps beat this thing.
I still believe that in this happening some good will come from it. If it was someone else suffering from this we would never have been part of this and perhaps this blog would never have taken place. We're all in it together and we'll get through it together. I couldn't wait to tell you that tomorrow is half way through the treatment!!
Love to you all and Happy New Year
Love
Ali
ps. THINKSHRINK!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
+of+Ski+School+of+the+Year+2005+Party+008.jpg)
