Bonsoir everyone!
Well, it did come back and get us! I'm tired so we didn't do much today. Still, it's nice to do nothing much! Nearly a 3 hour sleep this afternoon. Talk about Think Shrink - the skin around my torso has started to go like orange peel of which I have reliably been informed is cellulite. Big tummy, neck and cheeks! Think shrink please:-) I know it's only a small thing but it's on my mind!
Steroids - wow. I know they are doing me no end of good but I'm getting tired of the taste in my mouth, the dry mouth at night, the water retention, my face etc. I've got to be super careful about coming off them (2 milligrams per week) otherwise I could be in the slammer again and I don't want to do that before we head back to France!
Insurance. I've been using the British Mountaineering Council Insurance for years and they have been super. I was told yesterday (after a long call) that I can be insured as per normal for everything not to do with my brain tumor. There's a risk! We're going to wait until I'm absolutely ready to go back to France otherwise we don't want any shennanigans at any stage.
Well, Linz and her gang are coming tomorrow so that should be great! We've also been invited to a London Scottish match to watch my good friend Jumbo flounder in the mud....I hope. ha ha
Bit down on the whole - It's getting to me. I guess I want to get better not only quickly but just get better. The radiotherapy, I've been told, will continue to work for 6 - 10 days and act like a normal day of treatment. It's a real hassle standing up but once I'm there it's all systems go!
I've never been a writer and I'm sorry if this doesn't wind like a story. I feel like I have to write what I feel and pop it down. Some days are great, some not. Stay with me and Jeanette, your company is appreciated sometime more than you can believe.
The Grand Essentials for Happiness are:
Something to do
something to love
and something to hope for....
Love
Ali
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19 comments:
Sorry today's not been so good but you've still managed to do plenty with your time! As usual you're trying to rush things but you really do need to pace yourself and allow your body time to recover. Keep thinking about the good things ahead: your marriage to Jeanette, your pointer puppy (?name), cycling round the lake, walking in those alpine meadows, meeting up with all your friends and living the life in France.
Remember:
Yesterday is a memory,
Tomorrow is a mystery,
Today is a gift and that's why it's called the Present.
You have been so courageous but now you need to dig a little bit deeper to get through this patch and get yourself fit and well enough to go back home asap. I know you can do that and so do you!! Come on Ali-up the Gunners!
With All my Love always
Mum xxx
Deirdre xxx
Ali
Thinking Shrink. And your writing is amazing. It is from the heart. It makes us think. It makes us understand where you are and where we should be with the important things in life like happiness.
Be happy and enjoy.
Love
Jo McCallion (Cornelius)
Close your eyes, breathe in and smell
you are on a chairlift, cant you tell?
the odour of freshness, of mountain air
the wind flowing gently through your hair.
Your eyes are closed, let your imagination flow
all around you.. pine trees and snow
the crispness of winter cold on your cheeks
refreshing it feels, surrounded by peaks
you know them all like the back of your hand
just keep imagining of your chosen homeland
what a fabulous feeling, just sitting there
breathing in all the fresh air
i hope i ve created a picture for you
of what i know you love to do
and i hope i ve managed to bring a few smiles
you better get off as you might catch piles!!!!!!!!!!
big hug from a wee friend
x
Ok, the brownies are in the tin, we are ready. Can't wait to see you. Hang on to that compass - I think this is where it comes into its own.
L x
PS I just watched the choir revisited documentary about a bunch of random school children who formed a choir. They all got so much more from it than the singing alone. It made me think about how our experiences in HVSU shaped us all those years ago, and how many of your friends from those days are coming back to support you now....
Hi Ali
The countdown has become such a focus that these first few days without the buzzy machine sessions must be unsettling for you all.
This week I was remembering a time you were teaching the (then) New Gen office girls. It was Belle, Sian, Anna and me, you were trying to get us to throw ourselves off some cliff to the left of the Suisses chair and head down through the 'crud' as fast as possible. Of course, we are all a little uneasy, but follow on, trusting in our leader…..
It's all about momentum’ you shout……’don’t think about it too much, just keep driving through’
Energy and enthusiasm like yours stays with people.
Keep going Ali.
Still thinking shrink, Cathy, John, Jack and Sophie Hendry xx
Hi Ali and Jeanette,
Downs okay but UP is so much better!!! Hang in there and the feeling of up will soon be the norm.
Just enjoyed a lovely evening with Paul and Kate Garner. Great company with their gorgeous little boy George. Of course we talked about you lots so maybe you experience a burning ear.
Hey nothing wrong with cellulite. John´s rather drunken comment from the back stalls is ¨that as long it is on a womans a..e!!!¨
Take care guys, Bon Weekend and enjoy the lazy days together.
Lots of Love John and CArolyn.
Hi there Ali and Jeanette,
This will my second attempt. Just goes to show a few too many red wines with John, Paul and Kate Garner are not condusive to blogging!!!(hey maybe this doesn´t make sense!)
Hey whats wrong with cellulite?
JOhn´s comment from the back stalls is that it´s perfectly acceptable if on a womans a...e!!!(but not sure about on a Luton-St Alban´s man!) We still love you bumps, craters and all.
Take lots of care and enjoy the lazy times together.
Love CArolyn and JOhn.
Hi Ali
Sorry to read you are feeling down, I guess its like any major goal you go for, you put so much in, and its a massive achievment to reach that goal, (in your case massive is an understatement), which you have done, but then there is a sort of empty feeling too. I would liken it to a child the day after Xmas, but then that seems to be-little everything you are going through. You have all the horrible side effects and the continuing unanswered questions hanging over you, so, well, down days......but also hopefully UP days and many to come.
Keep your chin up Im sure your friend Linz will lift your spirits, and the match....
I agree with your Grand Essentials for happines and I wonder how many people have all three at the same time for a long part of their life......
Treacle
ps I know Jeanette is gorgeous, but you can join the other gang ..... thise of us with cellulite whenever you want x
HI al
just syarted to follow your blog.
Looking forward to see you again.
Hang in there.....
Uffe ( val disere )
Dear Ali,
Sun's out today in Herts....yippee, hope you manage a little more time out for a walk, your mothers piece was so, so right.....take your time, fight a little, weep a little and certainly 'Up the Gunners'!! Paul supports them having lived in Highbury most of his life...now bless him in sunny Herts!! We are up running around Parliament Hill today....Southern Cross Country, in the middle of the city, can you believe...muddy and long course!! Will be pounding away with you. Love Sals X
Hi Ali
We're sorry to hear you're feeling a bit low. After the buzzy machine and all you've been through it's not so surprising. Hang on in there, everyone is thinking shrink still, and wishing you well and home in France.
Don't forget, there's a fourth element to being happy and that is
Being Loved!!
We think you have that one in spades! Stay strong.
Love Nette & Tony
Hey Ali,
I imagine it must be a difficult time now. At least, when you're going to the buzzy machine you feel you're doing something.
Try and think that the punishment you've been through has been giving hell to that tumour as well. I reckon it's been getting a royal whacking by those radio waves and is on it's last legs.
You hang in there Ali. I've been thinking 'shrink' every day and if there's anyone going to come out of this well it's you.
You've been an admirably positive and good person since I first met you and that will serve you well in coming through this.
Fight on my friend and you'll get past this obstacle. Besides we've got cycling to do this summer!
Thinking shrink!
Dave [& Barbie & Alessia]
Ali,
I have just managed to get connected again having arrived back in Italy. Good to catch up on the 'blog' and to see that there is, as always, an enormous outpouring of Love, respect and best wishes (not to mention Think Shrinking!) from all those people whose lives you have touched.
My life is on the change and who knows what lies ahead or how to face it? It's nothing we should be told. It is something that each of us will discover.
' Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bow lines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the tradewinds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.'
Clever Chap that Mark Twain... couldn't have put it better myself!
Will send photos of the boat now. Loving the thought of taking you and Jeanette for a weekend cruise(or a week if you please!)
Big Love to you all,
Dicky M
Hi Ali,
I think of you often and hope you're doing ok ... I'm off to Courchevel 1850 tonight to help run some corporate event, so checked out your blog again, and will do some extra think-shrinking with 3v vibes. I'm still totally awe-inspired by your writing and courage ... it's great to read something so honest and from the heart.
Congratulations on finishing your treatment - I imagine it's a mixed blessing now that it's over ... no more long car journeys, but no more actually 'doing something' to help either.
Now you just have to look after yourself and let the healing begin ... it's gonna be a slow process getting well. I'm guessing you're not the world's most patient person (!) - you just have to force yourself to put a lid on it and not lose the plot when you feel like you make a backwards step. No matter how frustrating it is, try not to push yourself - it's forward all the way - just slowly.
Everyone's different, but when shit stuff has happened to me, the best way I found to deal with it was to take one day at a time, appreciate the good things around you right now, and don't ask 'why?' - too much ... just accept that shit happens sometimes, but that you will come out of it. Fatter and balder, maybe. But also better, wiser and with new appreciation about your life, and what and who are really important. It might seem a long way away, but don't lose sight of your dreams. And don't sweat the orange peel skin - life's far too short!! :o)
See you soon in the Alps.
Take care, and happy recovery!
Planet Steph
Hi Ali
Don't really know what to say to you today to make you feel better, except we are all hanging in there with you and always here for you. Keep up the fight!
Lots of love
Rach xx
Hi Ali
don't really know what to say to you today to make you feel better, but hang in there and keep up the fight! We are all here for you. We miss you being here!
Lots of love
Rach xx
Ali, try not to worry if you have days when your feelings aren't overflowing with positivity. You are allowed to have rotten days as well as amazing ones. None of us can control how we feel, it's how we act on our feelings that is within our power to decide.
It's now a bit of anti climax and whereas before you had the daily countdown, your focus now might seem unclear. Spend your time and energy with the people you love. That's all any of us really want. Rest when you need to (and when your Mum tells you!) then when you wake up draw your strength from all of us. That's why we're here. You know, you're truly blessed - you've got a LOT of friends.
Best thing that happened to me today was waking up at home after a really rubbish trip to Teesside. Simple things make all the difference.
Lots of love, ThinkShrink
Jane-Anne & family.
Hi Ali and Jeanette
Hope you had a better day today. Keep positive. The lows are inevitable as you now have adjust to a different routine, but the highs will come.
We have just finished watching Ski Sunday and think we should start a campaign to have you as the new presenter!
Love and best wishes
Paul, Amanda, Emma and Georgia
xx
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