Well, today was much better thanks. We had a good talk about things and decided to try and just go ahead with open minds. It's tough because we don't know what the future holds. I know that none of us do but we know that my future is certain. It's tough for Jeanette and me. We're not sure about a number of things. Please don't think that we're sad, we'll work though things and come out the other end one way or another. I think that we have a sort of holiday for the next 8 weeks because we simply can't do anything - I just have to get better and quick!
On Monday we're having a day when we are not speaking about my illness at all. That should be good actually because I'm a bit tired of it and I'm sure everyone is. Arsenal are through in the F.A. Cup so there's a start for the conversation. Ha ha.
Linz, Al, Phoebe and Rufus came round for tea this morning and brought some yummy chocolate cake. It was good to see Linz especially because of the lovely comments that she posted on the blog - it was nice to see her and thank her for the kind words. Thanks once again Linz.
Then we went to see Jumbo playing rugby for London Scottish against Old Albanians at St St Albans. What a great game and Jumbo - I hope your date tonight goes well ha ha. There is a photo of Jumbo and me but I'm not on my home computer tonight so no photos updated I'm afraid. I'll do it tomorrow.
Then off to Lower Farm for sleep/dinner/Sleep again.
I feel that it's now that we need a bit of direction before we can get on the straight and narrow. We'll find a way. I went to the Brain Tumour UK website last night and read about Grade 2 Glimoas. The chap that it was about had a Grade 2 but had unfortunately dies since. Damn! It doesn't help when you read that. Thanks though for being so positive Jet and sorry for being down. Better days are around the corner.
It was tough at the Rugby being amongst people who could do things I couldn't like run and catch (well, some of them could). I just want to be me again.......I hope so much.
Love
Ali
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21 comments:
Hi mate! You and Jet are obviously going through a tough period at the moment, but like you say I have no doubt that you will get though it and be sitting by Lake Annecy in no time at all. Stay away from reading things on the internet!! Just take it one step at a time as you have been so far.
If you and Jeanette want to come down and have a couple of days in London in the next couple of weeks then it would great to have you.
Hopefully see you soon, my thoughts are with you all.
Tim
Ali
It's gonna be alright. Of course you need to think about the future but you can't dwell on it, and like you say none of us really know what it holds. I am thinking of two of my mum's friends who were diagnosed with lymphatic cancer at least 20yrs ago. At the time they thought the writing was on the wall but in fact they are both still with us and on top of that have children and grandchildren. It isn't to say that they don't have to take time out to fight it every now again but the point is they are still here. What is really interesting about them though is the difference in mental attitude and its effects - one of them dwells on it, shuffles around and seems older than she is. The other has an attitude much more like yours and is vibrant, energetic and HAPPY. I think she views her life as a gift and lives it accordingly. My point is that the future is still yours largely to write. And don't forget for every unhappy story you read on the internet there are at least 10 happy ones!
I know you are impatient to get back to normal but give yourself the time you need and take advantage of having a period of reflection. It will all happen in good time.
K
xx
I guess they had to win something this week! Hope we do tomorrow!
Still shrink thinking
Rob rtm
xxx
Best thing today?...
That photo of the bloke in the big pants wasnt next to the "comments" button, so i didnt have to see it for the 1st time in weeks!
Tim P
Hi Ali, well done on completing your treatment and remaining so strong and positive throughout. We are thinking of you lots and keeping everything crossed that the buzzy machine has done its job good and proper!Have a good rest now, you certainly deserve it.
love Karen, Daff, Jack and Toby xx
you are on to the next chapter now,and that will take a little time to get used to.If you were uneducated and ill informed,which you are not,then you could possibly be forgiven for being positive all the time.What makes you so 'inspirational'as many have said, is that you are human, with all the jumbled up emotions that go with it.When you are actively doing something by way of treament things are more focussed.I guess that there is a kind of a vacuum when that part of the treatment is over which is possibly why some of the more negative feelings creep in.They don't last.Take each day as it comes, and know that the good days are never far away and all those who care are right behind you.
sorry for going on a bit!! here's to the good days,all the best,lucie
hi Ali
you're bound to go through a period of uncertainty - the last 5/6 weeks were mapped out for you with the buzzymachine being the focus of your attention. Now that's finished - hooray! - and you're left to hang around for 8 weeks, kinda in limbo. Just listen to your body, sleep when it wants to (sounds like you don;t have much choice in the matter anyway, hehe), get out and about when you can. You know we're all here with you, think shrinking :))
We have a good mate who had leukemia (spelling??). Had all the chemo treatment at Christies. The first time he could drink again was at my sister's wedding. She had her 10th anniversary in Sept, and he's still clear, has his own business, married with a 2 year old boy :))
looking forward to seeing you in France
Ali & Rob xxxx
great to see you yesterday Ali, sorry about all the chocolate crumbs on the carpet - and that was just me ! We would love you to come and stay with us for a change of scene, as conversations in our house revolve around Bob the Builder or the various Disney princesses you would have no time to dwell on other stuff.
Re reading scary stuff on the internet - look up 'survivor' like i did last night, much more fun !
we will be round again soon.
Linz and gang xx
Alright Ali, sounds like your on an emotional rollercoaster which puts our worries into perspective! Reading your posts just reminds me how strong and a positive person you are. I was chatting to some of the verbier new gen boys on burns night and your the inspiration for a lot of people mate, me included!. Kerr stayed with us last week and we all had a good laugh at Dave Morris on youtube, 'neat feet' was the saying of the week. Keep the P.M.A going bud and speak to you soon.
Martin
P.s So lovely to finally meet Jeanette - we'd love to get to know her better.
L x
Ali
You say you just want to be you again. You are still you, it's just your strength is manifesting itself in a different way right now. And wow, that is one awesome strength you have! Give yourself a chance - the rest will follow. If anyone can do it, it's you!
Much love, Hugh and Nicki xxx
Deirdre xxx
Dear Ali,
I've just finished an amazing course on Chi Kung Healing (what!) Have some ideas which I'd like to share with you my email is info@ilrespirodellavita.it
Sorry I haven't got through to you sooner we are thinking of you lots sending lots of sunshine but the rays get through faster direct than with Italian internet!!
Love and hugs Sue Pietro and the gang!
A mediation on healing,
Our deepest healing takes place along our midline. A vertical line down the centre of our body(where our spine is)
Imagine your favourite mountain with the sun sparkling and making the snow look like diamonds, invite this sunshine into your body along this midline.
The more of us that can take 5 minutes to combine our energies as with thinking shrink the more effective we can be.
Love Sue xx
Hi Ali,
I liked this one:
A blond who'd recently dyed her hair to brunette was driving by a field full of sheep. she stopped and called the farmer over. "if I can guess correctly how many sheep you own can i have one?" OK says the farmer. After some consideration she guessed 156. "Bloody hell, spot on" said the farmer, "you'd better pick one out." After she'd got back in her car with her prize the farmer says " before you go darling, if i guess what your natural hair colour is, can i have my dog back."
Hi Ali
So good to know that you're at least off the fuzzy-buzzy treadmill. Life is a rollercoaster, and while there may be still more lows to come, there will be loads more highs. When we first knew you, a 15 year old venture scout, your spirits were high almost to the point of irritation (of the leaders, at any rate!). But boy, how those spirits have stood you in such great stead these past few months. And what a rock you have with you in the shape of Jeanette! Nous nous réjouissons de la recontrer un de ces quatre. Lors de la prochaine visite aux Alpes, j'espère! Love from Ewan & Claire.
Thinking of you.
Kate F
Dear Ali
Well the HVSU grapevine is still going strong after nearly 20 years. I am so sad to hear of what you have been going through and am thinking of you lots. Your beautiful personality must surely get you through this. You always made me smile and from all your friends comments I see you still do that for everyone you meet.
Be strong. Keep smiling. You will beat this.
Lots of love and hugs
Jules xxx
Hi there Ali and Jeanette,
thinking of you lots and may you have a wonderful day tomorrow.
Lots of love to you and we will talk soon.
love Carolyn and JOhn.
Dear Alistair,
I love to read all the comments & your blog too..... For sure you sre doing the best possible & I think all that read the Blog as well as your family must be proud of you. I had a similar doom & gloom experience when looking up effects of Interferon & Ribvarin on the internet. I must say though I know 2 people it has worked for & must say to myself it should or at least could work for me.
I must tell you that The Jub (my 4.5 year old son) & me went to a nother southern alps resort for the first time on saturday... Valberg. The route to get up there was fantastic & the resort was so so lovely... all electronic system for the forfait.... what a lovely day was had by us two.....
tomorrow is another day!!!!
God bless you, Jeanette & the Rainbacks
Steve - Cagnes
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